Today's makeup look was made to create awareness for Suicide Prevention.
If you've read my previous blog, you'd know that I have depression and anxiety. I think it had been gradually getting worse without me really noticing, but then all of a sudden I had thoughts about suicide. I can tell you now, that is definitely not something I usually think about. But this particular week I had thought about it a few times.
Basically, for me, it started off as me just feeling upset, just in general. I'd had an argument with my partner over something really trivial and it escalated from there. I went into a room by myself and cried for hours. I felt so low that my own brain was making up reasons why no one would care and/or even notice if I wasn't here anymore.
Now, ten weeks later, I understand that this is not true at all. But when you're feeling that low, it is hard to tell your brain otherwise. It's really hard to find a positive with all of that negativity floating around in your mind, like a big rainy dark cloud hovering over your head.
At the time I'm not quite sure what made me stop crying but something did and I didn't go ahead with it, many people aren't that lucky. A few days later I was worried about it, because I had scared myself. I understood that I was shy so ringing any help lines was out of the question, so I contacted Beyond Blue online. I chatted to a lady online and described my feelings and she asked me a few questions and it all went from there. I booked to see my GP and she asked me more questions and after a couple of sessions she informed me I had mild depression, anxiety, and I am also suffering from grief still.
I am still struggling to come to terms with it all, and each day is a major struggle, not so much the depression, but the anxiety. It can take over at any time, it can make you antisocial, it can make you sick to your stomach. Its such an odd mental illness to understand. I am still undergoing treatment so that I can learn how to deal with these feelings, I will keep you all updated on my progress as time passes.
But for now, here is the makeup look I did for World Suicide Prevention Day 2014
I used yellow to represent a few things, the first being
the yellow awareness ribbon for World Suicide Prevention Day,
and also to symbolise a new beginning, the happy days, the goals met,
the friends and family you have, and also positivity.
The black smoky eye represents the dark days, and how they feel as though they're taking over your life. It also symbolises the depression and anxiety that causes such feelings.
PRODUCTS USED:
Face:
- Chi Chi Fabulous & Flawless Foundation Ivory 1
- Australis Fresh & Flawless Pressed Powder Natural
- Hoola by Benefit
- NP Contour & Highlight Kit
Eyes:
- BH Cosmetics Lip & Lid Primer
- BH Cosmetics 120 Color Eyeshadow Palette 2nd Edition
- Makeup Geek Eyeshadow in Corrupt, Crème Brulee and Vanilla Bean
- e.l.f liquid eyeliner in black
- MakeUp Store Australia Black Pencil Eyeliner
- Maybelline The Falsies Big Eyes Mascara
Brows:
- NYX Retractable Eyebrow Pencil Dark Brown
- Nutrimetics Eyebrow Kit
Lips:
- Avon Glimmerstick retractable black eyeliner to line and fill in my lips
- e.l.f Liquid Eyeliner in black
- BH Cosmetics 120 Color Eyeshadow Palette 2nd Edition, for the yellow
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If you ever are feeling worthless, or feel as though you don't belong here, talk to someone, anyone! A friend, a family member, or call;
Lifeline - 13 11 14
Kids Help Line - 1800 55 1800
Beyond Blue - 1300 22 4636
If you'd like to donate to World Suicide Prevention Day p
lease visit their website by clicking on the image below